Hippity Hoppity

Happy Day After Easter!  Thought I'd recap our Easter weekend...

{Lots of pictures, sorry!}

• Friday kicked off Spring Break for the boys, but I had to work so Lee was home with the kiddos.  We were having my family over for Easter lunch and my "to do" list was a mile long!  You can imagine my sheer delight when I got home from work and Lee had pretty much cleaned the whole house.  All I had left to do was dust and run around with the glass cleaner.  He is soooo great like that...most of the time I think he would be the better parent to be at home!!  That night he took the big boys to the Carolina baseball game while Hampton and I went to the grocery store. 

• Saturday was the first day in 2 months that we have been HOME all day!  It was wonderful...when the boys woke up we made Resurrection rolls {or "Jesus cinnamon rolls" according to Jackson}.  If you've never heard of these, you can read about them here.  We read part of the Easter story before we started and the rest while our rolls baked.  I love that our boys are at the age that they truly understand when we try these special projects!  During the scripture reading at church on Sunday, Tradd leaned over to me and said, "Mama!  That's our story!"  Love that boy.  Please excuse my appearance in the picture below...Lee had the camera and it was early!  

• The boys spent the rest of the day hiding eggs for each other and playing outside.  I got my food prepped for Sunday, put my flower arrangements together, ironed our Easter clothes, and finished up inside.  Then we all were outside cleaning the porches, picking weeds and playing!  We grilled out steaks and sweet potatoes and went to bed early!  PERFECT DAY.

• Sunday morning we woke up to baskets from the Easter Bunny!  The boys got a movie, a new book, and candy.  Somehow, the EB always brings my favorite candy {Snickers eggs and Reeses Pieces} and leaves them in the boys baskets.  Amazing.   Hampton got new spoons, diaper cream, baby food, and a book.    

• Before we headed to church, we tried to get a few pictures of the boys.  WOW.  I am shocked that we got a good one! It's hard to get all three looking at the camera and smiling, but we did it!  The boys wore a tie for the first time...Lee's mom {Nana} had purchased matching outfits for the boys, including Hampton, but I didn't try H's on in time and the shirt was too big.  I had this sweet hand-me-down outfit from Strausburg that matched perfectly so that's what he wore for his first Easter!   

• After church, my family came over and we ate a delicious lunch.  The boys helped me set the table, they even wrote the placecards themselves!  We had ham, mac and cheese, brown rice, squash casserole, collards, fresh tomatoes, and deviled eggs.   I made Paula Deen's Strawberry Shortcake for dessert.  Google it.  It will change your life.  
• We wrapped up the day by riding over to my Aunt's house to hunt eggs with cousins!  I realized there that we had not taken a family picture so my mom took one for us....not in our Easter best, but that's ok.

• Sunday was also my friend Cindy's birthday.  I am missing her like crazy, but so thankful for the promise that we will be together again one day.  Can you even imagine what Easter is like in heaven?      

Southern Baby: 7 Months

My Sweet Boy,
You are almost 8 months old, but I had to squeeze this in!  You are growing into your own little person, but Gigi swears that you look just like me when I was a baby.  {That secretly makes my heart smile.}  You are wearing size 3 diapers and we've learned with you to stick with Pampers because you blowout every other brand.  You are also wearing 9-12 months clothes.  I have pulled out a lot of your brother's things that I saved for you {well, the "dream" of you}.  It is really neat to see you in their old clothes, reminds me when they were your size.

Speaking of your brothers....they love you so sweetly.
 They love to read to you and help me give you a bath.  Jackson told me just yesterday,
 "Mama, I love Hampton to death."  And he means it.

You are a great eater...your favorites are oatmeal with applesauce, sweet potatoes, carrots, squash, yogurt and puffs!  We've also discovered that you love refried beans after you ate half of mine at Mexican one night....now we just order you your own little plate!  Helping you with all that chewing are your first teeth...the first one came in completely in February and the second one in March.  I am loving your smile with those two bottom teeth!

You are also crawling!  It's a funny little crawl, with one arm out-stretched and dragging one leg behind you. You haven't quite figured out that this will get you from room to room...waiting on the real fun to begin!

You are loved, precious one.

Love,
Mama

     

the hurt

I finally found my words and my way back to this blog.  So many times "life" gets in the way of me posting.

This time it was loss.

Writing this post would just make it a little more final...an acknowledgement of the truth that I have yet to accept.

One month and two days ago, I lost my best friend to cancer.  A battle that lasted one week.  One week from beginning to end.  From discovery to goodbye.  I have gone over the whole thing a thousand times in my head.  Is this real?  Did that really happen?  What now?  I have listened to voice mails on my phone just to hear her voice.  I have dreamed of her.  I found a spoon in my silverware drawer that she left at my house.

I always knew she would die before me...my mind is morbid like that.   I would be a ripe 75...she, a frail 92.  Never 34 and 51.  My mind doesn't work like that.  With a seventeen year age difference, I expected to live on this earth without her.    I could never have expected this.  It is simply unimaginable.

I gave the eulogy at her funeral.  It was the hardest thing that I have ever done. In. my. life.  And when I say that, I mean it was hard to get the words out of my mouth.  I was full of the words.  When someone has such an impact on your life, it's not hard to recall the stories, the memories.  It's just hard to find your voice when hundreds of people who love your friend are staring at you bleary-eyed and expecting you to sum up how they feel about her too.  It is my greatest hope that I was able to do that.

I know this sounds cliche, but I really feel like a part of me has died.  That I have this Cindy-sized hole in me that can never be filled.  The hurt is deep and wide.  It takes my breath sometimes without notice.  And still the question remains.  

Why?

I believe with my whole heart that I serve a merciful God.  That He has plans for me and will not abandon me....That one day He will answer my question so completely, so fully, that I will wonder why I even asked it in the first place.  But until then, I have to find a way to sit right here in the "why".

God often gets my attention through music...in worship and when I am alone.  In Christian music and non-Christian.  A few days ago I heard this song for the first time and I literally could have written it.  It speaks the words that I could not find.  It is helping me heal.  It is a brand new song by MercyMe.  What are the chances that this song, this single no less, was released days after my friend died?  No chances.  All God.

I hope you will listen to it and that it will help you too.  Even if you didn't know my friend, we have all loved and lost...we've all asked why.

Poot on your jacket.

"When it is cold, I will put on my jacket it keeps me warm."  

-Tradd Burton-